Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish my penis had a tongue
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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