the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she told me i tasted like america
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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