yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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