Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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