don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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