I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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