The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
handjob tips. give me some.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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