my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
