Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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