So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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