Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
