yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
