opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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