Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
