Dual....:-)
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
