I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
