I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My feet surprised me
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