Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
