I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
