In the future we'll all be gay
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
