people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
