I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
