When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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