it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
