I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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