how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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