this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
