You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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