Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
