shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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