HIV tests are more positive than that guy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
