It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
