this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
