You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
