are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
