I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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