I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
