I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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