i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
