The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
