I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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