Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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