Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
