My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
