also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
