I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
