Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
