I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
