when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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