Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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