have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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