She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So much rum. So many feels.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
