I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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